


You Thought It Didn't Matter

by LadyCold



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Multi, Possession, Scratching, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, first posted fanfiction, it's going to go downhill fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCold/pseuds/LadyCold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You decide when you wake up that morning that you give up.</p><p> </p><p>Story of how the reader thought it was just a cruel game after the first few tries for a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the beginning.

You have felt nothing but sadness for a long time. You are alone and it's to the point where you give up. You decide when you wake up that morning that you give up.

You spend the morning perusal. You skip breakfast, you're hungry but you feel like you'll just throw up if you eat. You get dressed but don't bother doing anything else. You wait for the time where you leave for work.

The alarm rings, startling you awake, when did you fall back to sleep? It doesn't matter, you get up and go to your car but stop yourself. You decide to take the bus today. You don't trust your driving right now. You call ahead to work and tell them you're going to be late. The boss is an understanding woman. You wonder if you weren't like this if you could of been friends with her.

 

* * *

 

  
The bus is crowded. There's a child screaming, you should of taken your car. You start scratching your arm.

 

* * *

 

 

When you arrive a work you're not as late as you believed you would be.

Co-workers great you, you smile at them but don't stay and talk to anyone. You think most people here know you like to be alone by now or just given up talking to you. You still try to be nice though. They've never done wrong to you. You get to your desk and start working. You try hard not to drift off but in the end fail. A co-worker wakes you at break. He asks if maybe you should go home and offers to cover your shift(He's a kind man, you wish you remembered his name.)

You smile at him and tell him you just had a late night, you thank him but tell him you should be fine for the day. He tells you that if you change your mind to come find him.

You start scratching your arm to distract yourself while you work. It burns and your skin gets splotchy from the scratch marks but you keep yourself from drawing blood. It works in keeping yourself awake.

 

* * *

 

 

By the end of the day you complete quite a bit of work. More then normal. You're proud of yourself but you decide to work later. You'll be leaving soon so you might as well try and do more for this place. As your co-workers leave some bid you goodnight. Some ask why you're staying and you tell them that you want to catch yourself up with some work you've been putting off. Some offer to help but you refuse, you thank them anyway though. You're not the only person who works late, you don't talk to anyone else here though and they don't talk to you. It's a nice silence.

 

* * *

 

You decide you've probably been here long enough when one of the late workers leave. You pack you're things and check your phone.

Shit, it's way later then you thought, they buses don't run this late. You claw at your arm, you should of taken your car. You pass by the front desk. They bid you goodnight and you hum in response. You start walking home, all the white scratching your arm. It hurts but you're scared. The streets are empty and you're paranoid about someone grabbing you every time you pass an ally. You bitterly laugh at yourself for being scared when you're just going home to end yourself anyway.

You make it home fine, cold but fine. You change out of your work clothes and into something more casual. You wonder why but you suppose you might as well.

 

* * *

 

 

You head to the basement.

 

* * *

 

 

You're standing on a chair, finished tying the rope to the beam above your head. You're scared to die but it's better then living this empty existence. you figure it'll be few days before anyone notices your disappearance. Work will probably hound your phone. Online friends are use to you disappearing for a bit so they might find out the hard way. You wonder how long it will take them to find your body.

You stop those thoughts. You don't want to think about it, you just want to do it. You make the loose in the rope and put it around your neck.

It's harsh on your skin. You wonder if you can drop hard enough to just break your neck instead of choking. Probably not. You still hope you do. It's easier if it's fast. They'll probably tell everyone you died fast anyway. Easier for them.

Here's the hard part. Kicking away the chair. You take a moment, you didn't leave a note, you haven't had a journal in a long time. They won't understand why you did this. Maybe that's for the best, easier for others to get over it if they can make up their own story, right?

You think your stalling now. Small hope that maybe someone will come and help you.

You kick the chair back, falling a few inches. The robe burns and chokes you. Your body lashes trying to save itself as your mind tries to just accept it.  
You scratch your arm to keep yourself from grabbing at the rope.  
You pray someone will come save you

But nobody came

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop! first chapter and already dying
> 
> this will be fun
> 
>  
> 
> this chapter was also shorter then i wanted it to be but you know, it's just the intro so i forgive myself.


	2. This Was When

You woke up and saw a far away light. You didn't feel right. You're body ached and you couldn't move. you tried a few times but only got your hand to lock into a fist. It didn't feel right. Your fingers felt too small. Soon your body moved without you. It got up picked up a stick that was laying by you and walked off like nothing. You were scared, this isn't at all what you believed death to be like.

You came to a flower, that talked. You didn't really listen till it pulled out your soul and shoot bullets at you. You found that you could move your soul around. You dodged them, the flower said you were suppose to run into them. Oh, you probably should of listened. You didn't dodge this time when he shot it at you. The bullets hit you in a startling pain. The flower laughed, called you and idiot, was going to kill you. You were so confused.

 

* * *

 

 

You were saved by a woman, a goat woman.  
This was when you met Toriel, she told you that she was the keeper of the ruins you were in.

She was very kind, motherly. She had showed you the puzzles, and given you a cell phone. She told you stay in the room she left you in. Right after she left your body had called her to call her mom. She seemed happy. Your body continued on, the only control you got was in fights and helping solve a puzzle when they had gotten mad at falling over and over into the leafs.

 

* * *

 

 

This was when you discovered the thing in your body was very determined.

Soon you were at Toriel's. She had baked you a cinnamon-butterscotch pie and gave you a room. This was when you talked to them for the first time, as they were laying bed.

They asked if you were bad.

  
You told them you didn't think so.

  
They asked why you were trying to control they're body.

  
You said you were going to ask the same thing.

  
They told you that they needed to move on from Toriels but they didn't know why yet.

  
They asked if you two could work together.

  
You told them that you didn't know if you could be much help to them.

  
They bid you goodnight and fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

When they woke up you found Toriel had left you a slice of pie. You wanted to eat it right away but they wanted to save it. They explored the house and found a mirror in the hall way. You froze. This wasn't you at all. This was a child, you were sharing a body with a child.

You were suppose to be dead.  
Were you some sort of ghost?  
Wait, You had meat a ghost in the ruins.  
You didn't want this But at least you weren't you.You think they could feel your panic. They lingered near the mirror for you till you calmed down.

This was when you asked they're name. They told that they were Frisk. That they could be your friend if you wanted. You couldn't help but feel better after that. You told Frisk that you would love to be they're friend. When they asked your name, you didn't tell them. You told them that it didn't matter anymore. That you're happy just being they're friend. They didn't like that answer but didn't push you. You were grateful for that.

Frisk asked if you could speak for them, they didn't like talking. You agreed, they went to Toriel and you asked how to exit the ruins. She looked sad when you did. She told Frisk to stay there and rushed out of the room. They followed her down the stairs. They followed her through the hall as she told them about the humans dying when they left. She told them that if they wanted to leave they'd have to fight.

You're soul was pull out once again. You tried talking but there was nothing to say to her. There was no way to talk your away out of this.

So you fought. A Froggit told you that if you can almost beat them that you could spare then. So you fought her. Frisk saw sad but they didn't stop you. you fought.

You killed her.

 

You hadn't meant too.

 

There were just a few more hits.

 

It didn't let you spare her.

 

Why was she smiling?

 

You killed her.

 

You don't know if it was you or Frisk crying. You both were frozen. You kept saying sorry, you didn't mean it, you panicked. Frisk forgave you. They told you it was okay. They told you that it's over now anyway.

They moved on quietly. This child was stronger then you.

The flower was there to greet you. He taunted Frisk about killing her.

In this world, it's kill or be killed.

 

* * *

 

  
You were quiet for a long time. They were too. They exited the ruins and stepped into snow. They walked down the path. Stepping over a branch in the way. A bit forward and you heard a loud snap behind you. They turned to find the branch broken into pieces. You stared at it.

You tell them that thing was thick, someone couldn't just break that easily.

That didn't comfort Frisk. They kept walking. You hear footsteps behind you but you told them not to turn around. They listened. Ignoring it.

 

They got to the bridge and stopped. The footsteps were right behind them. A voice called out. Slow and dangerous.

"Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand."

 

You wanted to run, you told them so but they didn't listen. They were scared but they turned right around and shook the monsters hand.

This was when you met Sans. Sans the skeleton.

Frisk had burst out laughing from his prank. You wanted to too but something told you be wary. He hid Frisk behind a conveniently shaped lamb and that you couldn't hide your giggles for.

 

Sans made horrible puns that made his brother go crazy but his brother also made a pun back. You and Frisk were trying not to laugh very hard. Soon Sans' brother had left. Before you could go too Sans asked you to humor his brother. You and Frisk both agreed, you could tell Sans loved his brother. You found it weird how Sans said he'd meet you ahead and then go the opposite way.

 

Frisk continued on their way, meeting new monsters. You made sure to never touch the fight option again. You think Frisk appreciated it.

 

* * *

 

 

This was when you met Papyrus.  
He was very loud and proud. At first you weren't sure if you liked him but he proved to be too sweet. You and Frisk decided that he truly was the greatest.

 

Frisk did his puzzles easily and made it to Snowdin. It was a cute town. Everyone was friendly. No one attacked them here and that made you happy. They go to the inn and buy a room. They didn't really sleep much. You think it was from the snoring but you noticed they didn't sleep long at Toriel's either. You don't question it. Kids don't like going to be, right? The Inn woman was nice, she gave Frisk's money back since they didn't even stay the night. Frisk bought some Cinnabuns and decided to head out of town.

 

It was really cold anyway.

 

Papyrus was waiting for them. You're soul once again pulled out. Frisk told you not to fight. You agreed, you didn't want to hurt him by accident.

So you flirted with him. You managed to get a date for later. Frisk seemed happy about this but then Papyrus gave you no choice but to continue the fight. He turned your soul blue and you dodged his attacks the best you could.

 

He beat you. Frisk thought they were going to die.

 

They didn't, Papyrus stopped mid attack and picked Frisk up. He took them to his shed. You were mad at yourself for thinking he would ever truly hurt them. The second time fighting you managed to tire him out, he let you spare him. You and Frisk were both relieved that ended well.

 

* * *

 

 

They continued to the waterfalls. It was beautiful. You loved it.

 

This was when Frisk let you take control for the first time.

You ran around. It was beautiful. This Undyne seemed scary but besides that.You liked the Monsters here. You sang with Shyren, flexed with Aaron, you did the piano puzzle and cursed the annoying dog for taking that relic, you weren't that upset though. You held the umbrella for monster kid, they were nice. Frisk had to ask you not to scratch they're arm a few times.

Frisk took back control when spears started coming at you.

 

This was when you met Undyne.

 

She was going to kill you. The first time Monster Kid got in the way and she dragged him away.  
The second time Frisk saved Kid and he stood up for them. Undyne backed off.

 

The third time nobody came.

 

This was when you found out that you don't die.

 

You were in darkness and the options appeared. You loaded a save. You and Frisk were back just before they would fight Undyne.

 

* * *

 

 

You didn't let them take another step. You reset.

 

You both open your eyes. Back to the beginning.

 

The flower was there again. This time you listened to its name. Flowey.

But it knew what you did.

 

Toriel saved you again.

She didn't know. She looked at you. Them. Like she did the first time. Introduced herself.

This was when you decided that you and Frisk would do everything right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rewrote this twice. that was fun.
> 
> that feel when you discover you can go back in time and not kill your mom


	3. You Realized

It was needless to say that Frisk was not please to be sent back so suddenly. You realized that they were confused by what happened. You were too excited to explain for a few moments. They continue following Toriel until she left you once again with a phone. Once alone they wait for you.

You apologize for not talking. You tell them what happened. How they died and you were given the option to go back. You told them that you could save Toriel this time. They were a little scared that they had died but were happy to see Toriel again.

Frisk called her again to call her mom. They also talked a bit more with you.

 

* * *

 

 

You restart your journey.

You realized you could just spare Toriel.   
She gives Frisk a hug and a new sweater before they go. They were glad for the the extra warmth it provided.

Flowey was there at they're exit again.

He told you that you couldn't escape your sins. It scared Frisk but you told them that it's okay. That it wasn't them that hurt anyone.

You realized that Frisk didn't find comfort in you suffering and not them.

This time unafraid of walking down the snowy path, Frisk turned around and shook Sans' hand without being told. They still giggle at his prank. Sans comments on them already knowing this one. They just smile. You'd be smiling too if your body was your own.

Frisk was happy. You were glad. Not truly happy but you could fake it for the kid. Papyrus asked Sans if he already knew Frisk.

 

You realized that the reset didn't take everything.

 

* * *

 

 

This time Frisk went on they're date with Papyrus before leaving Snowdin. It was fun. You mostly watched for it, Frisk was having fun. You teased them about how great their dating power was. Asking if you could go on a date with them some time, they surprised you by how eagerly they agreed. What a sweet kid.

They offered to let you run around the waterfall again but you refused and told them to have fun. They did. You still helped them with singing with Shyren and the piano puzzle but besides that they made it well enough.

It ended quick when Undyne showed up again. She was strong but Frisk was determined. You died a few times.

You realized that each time you died that you would feel the pain of your soul getting ripped apart.

You repeated apologized to Frisk for it. They told you that it didn't hurt. You were glad that they didn't feel it.

 

You realized that you were alone in pain again.

 

It took you longer then you'd like to admit that you could run from Undyne when your soul returned to red. It was much easier to run. You laughed when Undyne stopped chasing you for your phone call from Papyrus. How polite.

 

You doubt that she'd let you be friends with her but you trust Papyrus.

 

She followed you to the hotland and collapsed from the heat. Frisk didn't even think twice about getting her some water. She got up. Staring at Frisk and left. You were relieved.

 

* * *

 

 

You realized not all monsters were against you(not you, they weren't against Frisk. You're not here)

Alphys wanted to help you. She had been nervous but had upgraded your cell phone. It still looked pretty old but she added texting and signed you up to a website.

This Mettaton had been... something else. You didn't like his quiz until you realized Alphys had been giving you the answers all along. You felt silly for not noticing until Frisk pointed it out.

After Mettaton had left. Frisk had asked you if they should go visit Undyne with Papyrus. You were hesitant but you supposed she may of been grateful for not being left in the heat. Papyrus would also be there so he could help them if things went wrong. You agreed.

You weren't expecting a cooking lesson. You weren't expecting to burn down Undyne's home.

 

You realized that these monsters are crazy.  
You say this and Frisk laughs at you.

 

You tell Frisk that you can just cook for them.

 

They agree.

 

* * *

 

 

They start calling Papyrus and Undyne in every room. It's quite amusing. You're like your friends.

You stop yourself there.

Frisk's friends. They don't know you. You're just a second voice in Frisk's head.

Frisk can tell something is wrong. You think they can feel what you do sometimes. They try and get you to talk but you tell them that you're okay.

 

You realized they don't call Papyrus and Undyne as much after that.

 

* * *

 

 

You two mess around long enough. You tell Frisk you should probably continue through Hotland. Frisk agrees.

 

Alphys tries to help you through the puzzles. You think she really does. You understand her fear of calling you though. Frisk feels bad when she calls to help you with a puzzle that you already completed. Mettaton had more had more shows for you. You don't manage to finish the third one on time. Expecting to explode and load. Apparently Alphys disabled them but you're not sure you buy it. You don't mention anything to Frisk.

The next show the square robot is in a dress. You complement him before he drops frisk into the 'dungeon.' You tell Frisk not to do the maze and just wait. They don't like that idea but you tell them to trust you. They do and sure enough, Alphys 'saves' the day again with an awkward phone call. You're a little upset. You don't understand why she's doing it but Frisk convinces you to give her the benefit of the doubt.

  
You didn't like Muffet too much. You did respect her though. She was kinda cool.

  
You realized that Sans has been following Frisk this whole time. You want to know more about him. He takes Frisk through a shortcut into a restaurant. He told you about his promise, you assume to Toriel. He tells you that if it weren't for his promise

 

"You'd be dead where you stand."

 

You realized Sans isn't what others think he is.

 

* * *

 

 

Mettaton confirms your theory that Alphys was playing you, however she did it to try and be your friend. You can understand that. You're glad you listened to Frisk and didn't get mad.

 

You realized Mettaton was holding back a lot. He took you down multiple times. You were so frustrated but Frisk was there for you. The fight finally ending when the ratings were high. You were glad and tired. Frisk pushed on though.

They agreed to watch anime with Alphys, you were glad for that too. She didn't seem bad, just lonely.

 

* * *

 

 

The judgment hall before you. Sans appears before Frisk. He asks them to stay. Telling them they have friends, food. Did they really need to leave?

You ask them too. If they needed to do this?

 

They nodded. You could tell they were sad but they were determined.

 

You realized this kid was truly strong.

 

Sans told them that he believed they would do the right thing. You told them you believed in them too.

They told you they believed in you as well.

 

You stayed quiet after that.

 

You realized that Asgore didn't want this anymore then you or Frisk.

 

Frisk spoke for themselves this fight. They told Asgore not to fight them. It seemed hopeless though. They told you to fight.

 

You realized that there was no way out.

 

You fought.

You were scared to hurt him.

Frisk was scared to kill him.

you defeat him.

You don't kill him.

You spare him. Frisk spares him.

He spoke of being a father to Frisk. That it'll be like a family, that he'll take care of them. You could feel how happy Frisk was.

You could feel how heartbroken Frisk was when Flowey killed him.

Flowey took the human souls.

 

* * *

 

 

Everything went black like it did in death but it didn't hurt. You tried to load a save.

 

You found Frisk fighting Flowey.

 

You weren't with them. You tried to talk to them but they didn't hear. You tried yelling but they didn't answer.

 

Flowey killed them repeatedly. He killed them again

And again

Again.

They cried for help.

 

But nobody came.

 

* * *

 

 

You could feel the souls in flowey. Even if you couldn't reach Frisk.

 

You asked them to help Frisk.

 

You begged them to help Frisk.

 

They came.

 

They came and healed them. They turned again flowey and tore him to part.

 

* * *

 

 

It was black again. But you could feel Frisk again. You felt in control of they're body.

 

 

You walked ahead.

 

Flowey was before you. Wilted. He wouldn't look at you.

 

Frisk told you to show him mercy.

 

You told them he doesn't deserve it.

 

They told you everyone deserves mercy.

 

You go to fight.

 

They beg you not too.

 

They say you're not bad.

 

They say you can show mercy too.

 

You feel their desperation.

 

You do nothing for a long time.

 

You realize you might not be as good as you believed yourself to be.

 

You give Frisk control of they're body. They thank you and spare flowey. He gets mad, tells them to kill him. They refuse. They keep pressing mercy. You're proud of them. After he leaves. Everything's black again. Frisk is gone but you hear a call.

 

It's from Sans, from Papyrus, from Undyne. They tell you that Toriel was the queen, she took the throne. They tell you that where ever you are to not give up. You cry. You want to say something back. You want to tell you're friends you love them.

 

You realize that they're talking to Frisk. You don't care. You want to be friends with them too, even if they don't know about you.

 

* * *

 

 

Flowey comes to you in the darkness. You don't know how he got here. You don't know if he knows about you or if he thinks your Frisk. You don't care. He tells you about a better ending. They you could be better friends with Alphys.

 

You load as soon as he's done talking.

 

* * *

 

 

You're before Asgore again. Frisk is confused to why they're here again. You tell Asgore you have something to do.

You tell Frisk that there's a better ending. They run back to Mettaton's hotel. They get Undyne's call. They hurry the Riverperson to Snowdin and get Undyne's letter.

 

You hurry Frisk along to deliver it.

 

They tell you they are hurrying.

 

* * *

 

 

Frisk slides the letter under the door and waits.

 

You realized Undyne didn't sign it too late.

 

Frisk's date with Alphys was something. It's obvious Alphys planned for a date with Undyne at some point. How sweet.  
She tells Frisk about how she could never be truthful with Undyne, how didn't know how.

 

You told Frisk to suggest roleplay. That was great. Pretending to be Undyne. You call Alphys cute and say the Undyne kisses her.

Of course Undyne is around just in time for her confession. You're startled when she dunks Alphys in a trash can. In you're panicked state you miss Papyrus running off with Alphys. You're deeply confused.

 

Frisk is happy though.

 

Undyne asks if anime is real, desperate to know it's not fake. You refuse to answer. Frisk tells her the truth. She took it better then you thought.

 

* * *

 

 

You get a call from Papyrus to go to Alphys.

 

* * *

 

 

The true lab was terrifying.

You realized Alphys was hiding more then just the truth about cartoons.

Frisk was much braver then you. They were friendly to all the creatures down here even when you told them to run. The things, amalgamates. Weren't bad, scary but mostly just sad. You pitied them. By the end, Frisk found Alphys or, she found them. She told you she was going to be honest, that she was going to work hard to be better. Frisk let's you take control to hug her. You're proud of her.

She's tense at your hug but soon hugs you back. You think she's crying a bit but you don't let go to look.

You two stay there for awhile.

 

* * *

 

 

You're back to Asgore. Frisk tells him they're ready. So far everything's the same. You're scared until a family attack knocks Asgore away from you.

Toriel is there. She says the same thing as she did with Flowey. Before Frisk can go hug her the rest of your friends come. T

 

hey're all here for you, for Frisk.

Frisk tells you they're here for both you and them. 

 

You realize that it's too good to be true

 

Flowey takes them, he has them tangled in vines, in pain. He calls you an idiot. He goes to kill you and Frisk. Your friends protect you.

 

He kept laughing. He just wouldn't stop. He took they're souls. The human souls. He became someone else. A child. One like Toriel or Asgore.

 

* * *

 

 

He was Asriel.

 

But then he came something else. He took the power and cut Frisk down.

 

But you refused.

 

You would not let him hurt Frisk again. You felt your broken soul tremble and piece back together.

 

You realized you didn't feel empty.

 

* * *

 

 

You felt determined. Frisk was there with you and you would not let this end like this. You both worked together. You dodged his attacks, Frisk spared him. You both didn't give up. It got harder though. You felt your resolve breaking as Asriel changed once again.

 

You told Frisk you couldn't find a save.

 

Frisk told you to try and save someone else.

 

You realized you could feel your friends souls.

 

You called out to them.

 

Frisk spoke to the lost souls. They called Toriel mom. They told Asgore they wouldn't hurt him. They told Papyrus they wanted to try more puzzles. They told Sans a pun. They asked Undyne to teach them out to cook. They asked Alphys if they could watch anime together.

Your friends returned, they believe in Frisk.

 

You told Frisk there's still one more soul to save.

They didn't understand at first.

 

You called out to Asriel.

 

He tried to block you out

 

You called for him again and again and again.

 

He begged you just to let him win.

 

Frisk called out for him.

 

He broke down. He fired everything he had at you, at Frisk. He cried for them to stop.

 

He told you he's scared, that he's so alone. He started to cry. His form become that of a child again. He cried and sobbed. He tells you he's sorry. He calls himself a crybaby.

 

He asks your name. Frisk's name.

They smile and tell him.

 

He tells them about being a soulless flower. How he could feel everyone's love for them. He says he understands if they don't forgive him. Frisk doesn't think twice. They forgive. He says he's gonna cry again. He says it's time for monsters to go free. He uses the six souls and all the monster souls. You watch as they circle around. The sound of the barrier breaking is heard.

Asriel looks to Frisk. He tells them he has to go. He says that without the souls, he can't keep this form, that he's going to turn back into a soulless flower. He tells you to forget about him, to be with the people you love. You don't know if it's you or Frisk that hug him, maybe both. You hold him close, you don't want to let go.

He tells you the same but in the end, let's go first.

He tells you that everyone's there for you. He looks like he's about to cry again when he says goodbye.

He tells Frisk to take care of his parents.

 

* * *

 

 

For once, everything's white.

 

* * *

 

 

You wake up. Frisk wakes up.

Everyone's there. They don't know what happened and neither you or Frisk explain.

The barriers broken. Frisk takes Toriel's and Papyrus' hands and run for the exit, everyone follows behind.

 

The sunset is beautiful. It's beautiful and you realize...

You realize you're happy to be alive.

Frisk becomes ambassador for monsters, they tell Toriel they want to live with her.

They ask you if you mind first.

You tell them you'd love it, that you're happy to be there with them.

 

You realized it's too good to be true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look, everyones happy! 
> 
> hahahaha
> 
> haha
> 
> ha...


	4. There Was Nothing

After Frisk left the sunset behind.

 

There was nothing. You saw glimpses of time on the surface but you could not interact with it. You called out for Frisk but there was nothing. There was nothing and you were alone again. You try to be noble. You try to suffer the void so your friends could be happy. You really do try.

 

There was nothing.

 

You've had nothing for so long and the moment you're happy the world tears it away from you. Maybe you did something wrong. There were a lot of monsters you didn't talk to, a lot of signs you didn't read. Maybe you were suppose too.  
You reach for the reset button but before you can press it. You see Flowey.

You smile. You're glad to see him for once. He, however. Is not happy. He asks you to let Frisk and your friends have their happy ending. Your smile is gone now. What about you? You just want to be with them.  
Just one try, you tell yourself.

 

* * *

 

 

There was nothing until you woke up with Frisk.

 

They were upset.

 

They asked you why.

 

You told them.

 

They weren't as mad anymore.  
They told you that they'll save you too.

 

You're happy when they say this.

 

There was nothing that could stop this kid.

 

You go through it all again. No one remembers you this reset. Flowey doesn't know your sins, Papyrus doesn't feel like he already knows you. You're glad they don't know.  
You talk with every monster. You're happy you did, everyone had something to say. You listen to every word. Read every word. You learn more about Asriel and the first fallen child. You learn about the monster human war. You feel a lot more educated about the world.

 

You go with Sans to Grillbys. It's a nice place. you learn Sans really like ketchup. You learn that a flower has been talking to Papyrus. You figure it's probably Flowey.

 

You hang out with Napstablook, laying on the floor feeling like trash was a great experience. Frisk agrees. Frisk races snails, you two never won but it was still fun.

 

In Hotland Frisk buys hotdogs from Sans(which you learn are just water sausages thanks to Toriel's books.), Frisk fills up they're inventory and Sans starts putting them on their head. You're really impressed by their balance. You talk for Frisk and tell Sans to keep them coming.

You're disappointed when he stops before thirty.

 

* * *

 

 

Before you know it you're back at the end again. You've beaten Asriel. You're at the sunset again.

Frisk asks you if it was good this time, if you'll stay.

You tell them you hope so.

 

* * *

 

 

There was nothing.

 

You're left alone again. You're mad this time. You've done everything right. Everyone was there. Why couldn't you be happy too?

 

Flowey is there again. He says the same thing.

 

You reset anyway.

Frisk forgives you again.

You do everything again.

 

You backtrack though everything to double check.

 

Frisk can feel what you feel, even if you try and hide it.

 

They ask you if you want to go for that date.

 

You tell them you can go on the date when you're on the surface with them.

 

This upsets them but they don't bother you about it.

 

There was nothing.

You try again.

Frisk asks if maybe you're not suppose to go with them.

You ignore them.

 

There was nothing.

There was nothing.

There was nothing.

 

You cry out into the darkness. Why is this happening? Where if your happy ending? Why can't you be happy? Why did it let you taste happiness only to shove it away?

Why  
Why  
Why

_Because it's just a game._

There was something new this time.

 

Another child. They kinda looked like Frisk but at the same time didn't. They smiled at you. They told you that there are more endings. That this is all that waits for you if you don't try more. They tell you to get more LV.

 

You tell them you don't want to hurt anyone.

 

They tell you that they won't make you do anything. They're just giving you the choice.

 

You ask them what they mean.

 

They tell you that this is only a game. They there are different endings.

 

You ask which one you need to continue.

 

They tell you they don't really know for sure.

 

But know know that there's only one way to erase this hell.

 

You tell them this isn't hell.

 

They say it becomes one. Each time you watch your loved ones move one without even knowing you exist. they tell you that they're name is Chara. That they're the first fallen child. That their bother is Asriel. They tell you they miss him but there's no way to save him.

 

They tell you to erase this world, you need to purge the underground. You kill everyone until you're LV 20 and then they'll take care of the rest.

 

You tell them that you won't hurt your friends.

 

They just smile.

 

They tell you they understand, that they won't push you to do anything.

 

They tell you if you change your mine to just call their name. They'll be there. They'll give you the power you need.

 

There was nothing.

 

* * *

 

 

You try different endings.

You find you'll have to hurt someone to get a different ending.

You kill Toriel. Frisk yells at you.

Sans later mentions her not replying to his jokes. That she's not doing much of anything lately. It was new.

 

You kill Papyrus. Frisk cries for you to stop. They're voice feels smaller somehow.

 

Undyne knows you killed him. She's worried and tells you that she's going to kill you.  
you take control over Frisk and leave her to go dry.

Sans calls you a dirty bother killer.  
In this ending, Alphys...  
Wasn't okay.

 

* * *

 

 

You explore ending after ending. Soon enough, Frisk stops talking to you. You're alone in they're body.

There was nothing.  
You felt nothing.

 

You tried to get the happy ending again. Once again forced into darkness.

 

You were so angry. You wanted to scream.

 

There was nothing.

 

You don't want to kill your friends.

 

_But you already have, haven't you?_

 

You've already killed them all. Not all in the same run but you've already done it. They were never your friends, were they? They loved Frisk, not you. They definitely wouldn't love you now. Even flowey, who was the only one to know you, he just cared about Frisk.

Chara was right.

This was just a game.

 

You're dead. You died what feels like forever ago.

 

There was nothing left for you.

 

* * *

 

 

You reset.

You call Chara.

 

They take Frisk's place. They walk around in control. They stumble a lot, like a zombie almost. You guess they've been dead longer then you. They probably weren't use to a body.

 

Chara paces from place to place a lot. You notice them finding every monster they could. You cut them down without question.  
This continues until nobody comes.

 

There was nothing.

 

* * *

 

 

You cut down Toriel. It only took one hit. You feel like a part of you died when she asked if you really hated her that much.

Chara told you not to be sad, that this needs to happen.

 

They're smiling all the whole time. You get the feeling they don't stop smiling.

  
This time. Sans asks you to keep pretending to be human to humor his brother. Chara doesn't reply. You don't say anything.

There was nothing.

Sans warns you that if you keep going down this path you're going. That you're going to have a bad time. Chara is silent. You just want it to end.

 

Papyrus tries to save you. He tells you that he believes in you. That you can do the right thing. That you can be a good person if you try. You feel yourself break down. This never happened before. Chara cuts him down for you.  
As he dies he tells you he still believes in you.

 

There was nothing.

 

* * *

 

  
You want Monster Kid to run. You want him to get far away. You don't want to hurt a child. You did though or you tried. Undyne saved him so you cut her down instead.

She wouldn't die though. She stayed strong. Even as she was falling apart. You cut her down. She told you Alphys was evacuating before he died. Chara was disappointed in this. You were relieved.

 

* * *

 

  
Muffet was cut down like nothing.  
Mettaton seemed to be hard but it was all looks. You cut him down too.

 

* * *

 

 

Flowey was scared of Chara. He told Chara what he went through. What it was like being a flower. You pitied him even more.  
He wasn't in on the plan.

Chara told you he needed to die too but not just yet.

 

* * *

 

 

Sans. You knew Sans knew more then he was letting on. He knew about your resets. You think he wanted to call out to you.

He wanted to call out to Frisk, Chara corrected you.

You were quite literally thrown into combat. He killed you. He killed you again.  
And again.

 

And again.

 

There was no end. Chara refused to give up. It felt like days before he fell asleep. Chara told you to move the box to fight. You cheated to win against him. You wanted to cry when he spoke to Papyrus as he died.

Chara took full control after that. They didn't give Asgore much time to talk.

They told you it had to be done.

 

There was nothing.

 

Flowey begged them not to kill him.

 

They told you it had to be done as they tore him to shreds.

 

* * *

 

 

With that done. It was darkness again. No longer sharing a body, Chara smiled at you.

 

They thanked you. They said you gave them this purpose.

 

There was nothing.

 

Let's erase this pointless world and move onto the next.

 

You agree. You just want it to end.

 

This time, it was you who was cut down.

 

There was nothing once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what happens when a game is over? you go back to your life.
> 
> what happens when your life is hanging from a rope in your basement and your soul is in the game itself?
> 
> the game ends, so do you but not your power over it
> 
> In other words
> 
> Shit  
> Shit is what happens


	5. Once Again

Once again.

 

 

You were in darkness. It was different then the normal end. You could loud your save, the option to reset was gone. You thought you were suppose to be erased with the world. Maybe you were.

 

This is what you wanted to stop.

 

Once again.

 

You call out to Chara. You yell out for them and they're there minutes later. Still smiling.

 

Chara asks what you want.

 

You tell them you want it to end.

 

They tell you it already has.

 

You ask them why you're still here.

 

They ask you if you think you're above consequences. If you thought you could just go back and undo it.

 

You told them you just wanted to stop hurting. You tell them that you just wanted to be happy with the others. You ask them why Frisk left you after leaving the underground. You ask them why you're alone again.

 

Chara tells you that they're with you.

 

You laugh. You guess they are.

 

You sit, Chara joins you. You ask them why they wanted to end the world.

 

They told you that it was better this way. That in sense everyone is free and they've destroyed humanity in the process. They tell you all humans are horrible. That it's in they're nature to destroy and how they resent ever having been one. They tell you about how monsters wouldn't survive in the world on the surface. They tell you that monsters were weak.

 

You ask them if they missed their family.

 

They tell you that their family didn't care about them.

 

You tell them you meant Toriel, Asgore and Asriel.

 

They're silent for a moment. They tell you they don't really feel anything anymore. They tell you that when they could, that the monsters had meant everything to them. That they had wished to free them and destroy humans with them. They tell you Asriel stopped them. They tell you when Asriel died after taking their soul that they had lost the part that let them care.

 

You ask if they want to care again.

 

They tell you no. That they're better like this.

 

Once again.  
You ask them if they could erase you too.

 

They agree and stand. They tell you they enjoyed your talk. They cut you down. This time repeatedly. You take slash after slash. It feels like you're freezing. You feel empty.

 

Once again.

 

You're in darkness. Alone again.

 

You cry out for Chara.

 

They're there in moments.

 

They stare at you. Their smile twitches. They ask you why you're back.

 

You ask them the same thing.

 

They strike you down again.

 

* * *

 

 

Once again.

 

You're back. You don't call Chara this time. They're already there.

 

Once again.

 

You're cut down.

 

Once again.

 

Once again.

 

Once again again.

 

You tell them to stop.

 

Once again.

 

You tell them it's not working.

 

Once again.

 

You beg them to stop.

 

Once again.

 

You give up.

 

Once again.

 

It's forever before they give up.

 

You tell them you want to go back. You tell them this isn't what you wanted. You tell them to reset the world.

 

They tell you that it's their world now.

 

You tell them to send you back.

 

They say you only have one thing they want.

 

You give it to them.

You're left without your soul.

 

* * *

 

 

You're back at the beginning.

 

You're alone. There's no Frisk. There's no Chara. You cry out for Frisk. You beg them to come back.

You scratch your arm. Frisk's arm. They're not here so you guess it's yours. You claw at it.

 

Toriel came to you're yelling. She tried to comfort you, tried to heal your arm. It only makes it worse. You run from her. You know the puzzles by heart. They don't slow you down. She tries to follow but you think she gives up. You flee from any monster that tries to fight you. You don't stop.

 

Once again.

 

You leave the ruins. Run down the path. You trip over the branch. You curse. You curse it with everything you can think of.

 

Sans is in front of you.

 

He tells you that's no way for a kid your age to speak.

 

You stare at him. He holds out his hand for you to take. You don't take it. Your arm is bleeding into the snow. You don't move. Neither does he. It's like that for a long time.

  
He asks you if you don't know how to greet a new pal.

 

Once again.

 

You reset.

 

* * *

 

 

You wait in the flowers. You wait for Frisk. They don't come.

 

Toriel finds you once again. You don't react to her. Once your panic of no one to share your mind with wears off, you feel empty. You start scratching over your heart. Toriel holds your hand and carries you to her home. She asks questions but you don't listen or reply. She tries tying bandages around your hands to keep you from hurting yourself, you just take them off as soon as she's not looking.  
You don't leave Toriel's right away, you choose to stay with her. She tries giving you something else to scratch, it never works. You haven't spoken a word to her, she assumes you can't talk. She asks if you can write what you want to say. You give her no reply.

 

You feel sick every time you see Frisk's face in the mirror.

 

* * *

 

 

When Toriel is gone, you go down the stairs.

 

Once again.

You're at the door to exit the ruins. You don't leave though. You wait. You sit by it and wait.

 

You wait.  
It's too quiet.

 

* * *

 

 

You hear footsteps from the other side of the door. You hear something heavy flop down into the snow in front of the door. You take a breath and knock twice on the door.

 

Who's there? You hear a relaxed reply.

 

You say 'tibia.'

 

Once again it's too quiet.  
He doesn't say anything for the longest time. You wait though. You wonder if maybe he took a 'shortcut' and left.

 

Finally he asks tibia who.

 

You tell him, tibia honest you're not really sure anymore.

 

It wasn't really that funny. None of you laugh.

 

He greets you and calls you kiddo again. He says Toriel tells him about you.

 

You tell him he doesn't have to act by the script right now.

 

He asks what you mean.

 

You tell him you just want to fix what you did.

 

He asks why you did this to your friends.

 

You tell them they were never your friends. You tell him that you are not Frisk.

 

He asks who you are.

 

You don't reply right away. He waits.  
You ask if he actually wants to know?

 

He doesn't reply. You wait but no reply comes.

 

You tell him it doesn't matter anymore who you are.

 

He asks you how you could fix what you did?

 

You tell him you can't but you know what can. You refuse to tell him more then that when he asks.

 

He sighs. He tells you you're really gonna work him to the bone here.

 

You don't laugh. You smile though.

 

You two sit in silence after that.

 

You ask him if he thinks even the worse person can change. If everyone can be a good person if they just try.

 

You don't let him reply.

 

Once again.  
You reset.

 

* * *

 

 

You feel very little this run. You spare everyone make friends with everyone. You don't feel the sadness of knowing you killed them all. You don't feel the joy of making friends. You feel oddly empty and it almost hurts but not in a bad way, not in a good way. Not in anyway, it's just there. You fight Asriel again. After he breaks the barrier you find him after.

 

You ask him to tell you about Chara.

 

He tells you their plan from his point of view. He tells you they always hated humanity.

 

You talk with him for awhile. Not just about Chara. He asks about you as well, he knows you're not Frisk. You don't tell him your name but you tell him about you're life before this. That even though you should of been happy all you felt was sadness.  
He asks you if you wish you could go back. You tell him you'd rather just move on from that past.

 

You make sure to hug him before you leave. Figure you've wasted enough time. You head to the end. You watch the sunset with Frisk's friends. You tell Toriel you have places to be. She leaves you alone.

 

Once again.

 

You wait for the end to come.

 

* * *

 

 

You're in the darkness again. You ask Chara to come talk with you. You're left waiting for awhile but they come soon enough.

 

They ask you what you want.

 

You ask them where Frisk is.

 

They tell you Frisk is locked away in a sense.

 

You ask them if they can bring them back.

 

They're smile grows wider as they ask why.

 

You tell them you want them to play with Frisk. You tell them that they should do the run with them.

 

They laugh at you. They tell you that you'd still have to join them.

 

You tell them that's okay. You ask them if they will bring Frisk back, if they'll do the run with you without hurting others. You smile too, for once.

 

They ask what you're trying to do.

 

You tell them you don't really know yet.

 

Once again.

They cut you down.

 

 

 

This was when you realized there was nothing once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tibia honest, i don't believe in the concept good or bad. i believe in people and they're reasoning.
> 
> next chapter is the final one of this story, i do plan on continuing it in another work thing but in a different writing style, like how normal people write with actual conversations and stuff.


	6. Chapter 6

You wake up with Frisk. They sit up right away and looks at their hands.

  
You start crying. You tell them you're sorry, you tell them you're stupid, that you didn't mean for this to happen. You tell that you just wanted to be happy too. You tell them you're stupid again.

 

They let you talk until you have nothing left to say. You sob, feeling even worse for making their body cry with you.

 

Frisk smiles. They smile and you don't know why.

 

They ask you're name again.

 

You're quiet for a long moment.

 

You tell them your name.

 

They say it out loud. They say they forgive you. They tell you that they're still your friend.

 

You want to cry more. Before you can Chara talks for the first time.

 

Frisk jumps at the third voice in their head.

Chara tells them what you did after they were gone. They tell them about their deal and each death.

 

Frisk is shaking but still smiles. They ask Chara if they want to be friends too.

 

Chara is quiet after that.

 

* * *

 

 

Frisk gets up and starts off again. Their determination burning strong. Chara comments on everything Frisk looks at. You laugh when Chara shows interest in the toys in Toriel's home and Frisk just ignores it. They try to convince Frisk to steal some chocolate but Frisk just goes and asks Toriel if they can have some.

They stay silent when Toriel tries to fight Frisk. Frisk spares her.

 

Toriel's hug lasts longer then it did before.

 

Chara knows straight away that Sans is watching.

  
They tell Frisk to take him out now.

 

Frisk tells them that Sans is a friend.

 

You remind Chara that Frisk won't hurt anyone.

 

You get the feeling Sans is watching Frisk closely. He's cautious when when he holds out his hand. Frisk smiles at him and shakes his hand, giggling at the farting noise. You can tell he relaxes right away. His smile is wider. He hides Frisk behind the lamp and makes puns with his brother.

 

As Frisk goes to leave he speaks up.

 

He says it's good to have them back.

 

* * *

 

 

Frisk does everything perfectly. Chara has a lot of snark to them, you like it. You try to stay quiet most of the run. Frisk reminds you after Papyrus' date that they still owe you a date. You feel their disappointment when you don't reply. Chara tells them they want a date too. They start flirting with Chara.

 

Chara gets flustered easily it seems.

 

 

Cooking with Undyne was even more fun with Chara, they punched the vegetables and threw the spaghetti into the pot, they laughed as Undyne speared the pot to death.

 

Grinning wide as they stared at Undyne's burning home. They say they want to cook with Undyne again sometime.

 

You remind Frisk that you'll cook for them if they need it. They laugh but still agree with you.

 

 

  
Chara tries to pressure Sans into giving them more then 29 hot dogs. They threaten to expose to the world that they're really just water sausages. Sans sweats nervously.

 

  
Chara and Frisk work together and make it through the colour tile maze. You feel bad for laughing when Alphys calls to disable the fire wall when Mettaton had already turned it off.

 

You don't think Chara figured out that Alphys planned everything.

 

 

  
Frisk and Chara swap control a lot when fighting Mettaton. Chara liked to brag and pose with Frisk.

 

You tell them that it must of really grinded Mettaton's gears.

 

Chara tells you that was awful and to never try puns again.

 

Frisk laughs.

 

* * *

 

 

Chara is quiet when they fight Asgore. They're quiet when Frisk fights Flowey and Asriel. They tell Frisk to hug Asriel even though they were going to anyway.

 

At the end. Frisk goes back to the ruins to find Asriel. Chara listens to what he says. Frisk is silent.

 

Chara doesn't want to leave. They tell Frisk to go anyway. You ask if they want to stay a bit longer. They don't reply.

 

Frisk returns to the surface once again. They become ambassador, they tell Toriel they want to stay with her.

 

They tell Toriel that they want to stay behind for a bit, that they'll catch up.

 

They sit at the edge of the cliff.

 

All of you are silent.

 

You decide to break the silence.

You ask. What now.

 

Frisk asks Chara if they're going to erase the world.

 

Chara is quiet.

 

Frisk asks if you're going to reset again.

 

You tell them no.

 

You think it surprises them.  
You tell them you've been here long enough, that it's time you move on. You tell them you're glad for having them.

 

You ask Chara if they can let them have their happy ending.

 

Chara tells Frisk that they'll be stuck with them. That they can't go away.

 

Frisk tells them they'd love to have their friend with them. That they'd take them on a date. Frisk says they'll find a way to bring you back too.

 

You tell them it's fine, that you'll be okay moving on. You tell them you'll have to miss the date but to take Chara on a double awesome date for you.

 

Chara yells at you both.

 

You laugh with Frisk.

 

You tell Frisk to go be with their friends.

 

Frisk stands up. They say goodbye. They say your name again and tell you not to keep blaming yourself.

 

You tell them you'll try.

 

They run down the mountain to catch up with Toriel.

 

* * *

 

 

You see flashes of the life after. At the end you see Chara's red flash. They seem to look directly at you.

 

* * *

 

  
And again it's darkness. You sigh.

 

You're scared of it but you decide to just stop. This isn't you anymore. You don't get this power. You're determined to have it gone.

 

  
You can't breath. Your neck burns and your arm feels like it's being ripped apart. The darkness feels blinding as you suddenly fall. You land hard but you can breath again. You're gasping and sputtering. You can see more then darkness but it's all a blur. You're dizzy so you just lay there for a bit till your breathing is normal. You grasp at your neck to find rope.

 

You sit up fast. Too fast. You lay back down.

 

You stare at the ceiling. The ceiling with a broken beam. The beam in the basement you were hanging from.

 

Was it all some before death hallucination? That's such bullshit! It had to be real.

 

You hurt too much to be angry right now so you decide to deal with that later.

 

You go to scratch your arm and wince. It's all clawed up and bloody. You should probably do something about that. You should probably get off the floor too.

 

With some struggle you remove the rope from your neck and stand up. You use the wall to help keep your balance and get out of the basement. You head to the washroom first. You look in the mirror.

 

It's you.

 

 

You look awful. Your hair a mess and an ugly bruise forming over your neck. Your face completely flushed red.

 

You laugh. At what? You're not sure. It's just weird now. You feel too big. You've gotten use to being a kid.

 

  
You run cold water over your arm. You hiss at the pain but it stops the blood soon enough.

 

You get your small first aid kit from under the sink.

 

Bandaging is hard with only one arm.

 

You look back in the mirror.

 

It's still just you.

 

You wonder if maybe you should try again.

 

You're mad at yourself for that. You think about Frisk. Even if they're not real they'd want you to be strong. You'll do it for them.

 

Tomorrow though. You're really tired.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day you drive to work early. You dressed warmer then the weather to hide your injuries. You suppose you could of just looked up how to get help on the Internet but you need to try and have people there for you.

 

You wait for your boss by her office. You got in a bit before her. The longer you wait the more sick you feel. She's in soon enough, curious to why you're here early. She makes a joke about it being because you were late yesterday as you follow her into her office.

 

You stand in front of her desk and she sits down. She asks what you need.

 

You don't say anything. What do you even say? How do you even tell her what happened? This isn't her problem why should she care?

 

The longer you stare at her the more worried she gets. She asks you to sit down and you do. You hold yourself and try to talk but all that comes out is a sob. You were going to die yesterday and now you can't even speak.

 

She asks if it's okay to touch you.

 

You give a small nod and she comes to your side. She hugs you close. It only makes you cry harder. She pets your hair until you calm down. She asks what happened.

 

You tell her you tried to hang yourself yesterday.

 

* * *

 

 

She tells you that this isn't the first time someone's come to her like this. She tells you that you're brave for going to someone and that she's glad you're alive.

She tells you that you're going to need to be taken to the hospital, that people are going to need to watch you because you may still be a danger to yourself.

 

You don't really feel anything. You thought you'd feel relieved for help but you don't really feel much.

 

You're glad your alive, you're glad people care. However you still feel empty.

 

Colour seems too dull. Almost like a gray.

 

 

It's almost like you lost a piece of your soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you sold your soul to Chara for another try you soulless sinner
> 
> hahaha now i get to figure out how series work to continue this
> 
> but i honestly didn't have faith in myself to finish this so -pats myself on back- im good

**Author's Note:**

> i will add more tags as the story goes on, if you see any mistakes or believe i should add a tag feel free to tell me.


End file.
